Heavy Texting

You don't have to say anything about this. Maybe you can think about it a little though...

I think it's kind of the same feeling you have when you say 'Todd, you can move on. You deserve someone that loves you and can always be with you...'

The men in your life, before. The ones that reach for you now. They're not white guys pushing 60 with ED.

What I'm trying to say is those feelings (inadequacy) you have trying to match my gentle, attentive, providing love are the same feelings I have trying to match the feral sexual passion you've known all your young life.

To be together forever, in true marriage, two must agree their love is more than what they knew before. More than caressing or providing, more than hot, throbbing sex. More...

Real love, ordained by God, is a whole greater than the sum of its parts. But understanding is a struggle in a carnal world that ridicules 'weakness' rather than see purity in the softness and joy we feel when we hold, look or even think of each other.

If that's what we both want then we can have it. We will have it. Beauty like that is not impossible; just so rare people tend to forget it exists day to day.

It's time to stop asking 'Why?' about this, about us. If we are agreed -- and we are agreed -- because the proof is self evident, then it's time to let it be. Let it keep growing and evolving, like a child becoming an adult. To let it find its own way, for us, together, forever.

Like the story you told about imagining your white therapist's life, I think being with me has shown you 'white' -- that it's not a joke, a trick, some evil hypocrisy.

Like stories you tell about black lovers, you've shown me 'black' (ethnic/native/nature) -- that it's not evil, cruel or sadistic, just very, very real, versus the endless analysis whites subject everything in this world to.

Leota, I will love you and think of you every minute of every day for the rest of my life. I'd rather it was with you than without you. I think it will happen. I think it's happening. I see you feel the same. I know that makes it right. I know that makes it God.


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