How Bad is the U.S. Economy?

Thanks Bobbie Lefler Carmaack for forwarding this.  You made my day!

The economy is so bad that...

  • Exxon-Mobil was forced to lay off 25 Senators.
  • The Treasure Island casino in Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
  • I bought a toaster and my free gift was Citibank Corp.
  • Mitt Romney has downsized to one wife.
  • A picture is worth just 200 words.
  • Banks are mailing pre-declined credit cards.
  • Wives are actually having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries or gasoline.
  • To reduce costs, CEO’s are playing miniature golf.
  • Angelina Jolie adopted a child -- from America.
  • Motel Six isn’t leaving the light on anymore.
  • NYC renamed “Wall Street” “Wal-Mart” Street.
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now share a room.
And, finally...
  • I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, foreclosures, wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, pensions and my 401K that I called the Suicide Hotline.  When I told the call center in Pakistan  I was suicidal,  they became excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck...
To which I replied, "Hell YES!  I could use the money!”