Because it's worth it!

Question for today: WHY IS OIL SO EXPENSIVE? Answer: Because it’s worth it.

Hello Mr. Chavez (Chile) and Mr. Ahmenijhad (Iran), this is the United States of America calling…  Guess what?  It’s your lucky day!  WE JUST INVENTED MORE MONEY!  We’re the greatest inventor of (paper) money in the world.   Aren’t we just so incredibly clever?   Now all you have to do is agree to trade all of those barrels of rich, black crude for our paper. 

Remember -- it’s got George Bush’s picture on it!  And just look how well the same deal worked out for Native Americans and Manhattan Island.  So for today only, we're throwing in a few shiny copper scraps and shards of broken glass...

Don't hesitate.  This deal is going fast.  And if you wait until tomorrow, you'll only have to carry away a bigger, heavier stack!