Friday, September 22, 2006

New and Improved Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United Corporations of America.

And to the Profit, for which they stand.

One nation, rotting under a Dollar Sign.

Divided. With stupidity, indignity and injustice for most.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Bush EXPLODES to 44% Approval!

Still a Nixon-like level (i.e. relatively not good)... But then, by Diebold standards, 44% is a SUPER-MAJORITY.

Translation: Democrats doomed!

My advice to the Democratic Party of the United States of America: next time STAND for something different -- like, oh, I don't know... maybe the environment, energy independence, peace, humanism, corporate reform, entitlement solvency... you know, KOOKY stuff like that.

Instead all I really see/hear is: "We're going to fight THAT NOUN better than they did!" When, statistically, my risk of dying from THAT NOUN is the same as my risk of being struck by a comet. (Where's the Dept. of Comet Security!? Where's the $500B appropriation for the anti-comet defense system?)

So Dems, follow my advice and eventually the voters might just notice -- or the sky will explode, the oceans will rise 25 feet, and we'll all die screaming anyway -- whichever comes first.

Be Kind to Hugo

Oil down!
Stock market up!
Bush approval soars to 44% (by Diebold standards, that's a super-majority)!

Well Happy Days are Here Again!

But my only problem is that I agreed 100% with everthing Hugo said that was quoted on the news. Is Venezuela's social security system solvent? Do Venezualens have free health care? Does the government provide a stipend to insure no one starves? Man, that socialism stuff is just pure EVIL isn't it?

Anyway, Mr. and Mrs. American Retard, just please be nice to Hugo and Mahmoud. (PSST! They have a LOT of OIL!) And our Great America funhouse runs on the stuff.

Oh and if you think we can just TAKE it, because, like we have really fast fighter jets and stuff... I'm afraid our youth between the ages of 18 and 24 just don't seem to be signing up on the dotted line to die for our corporations the way they used to.

They hate us for our freedom (or is it our spinach). Damn, I can't keep it straight any more!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Arrest me! Kill me! But please stop trying to delude me!

I am so tired of we liberals with our moral outrage visa vi Shrub America: Iraq, Halliburton, neighbors slitting neighbors throats and stealing their babies...

I mean, how is it that we useful idiots believe that twiddling a few knobs on the capitalist oven is going to change it from taking in people on one end and spitting only ashes out the other?

I mean COME ON!

If we really want a better world:
1.) OUTLAW PROFIT. All profit. ANY profit. I'm sorry, but it's immoral to profit by diminishing the circumstances of other living things. And it ought to be a LEGAL crime.
2.) OUTLAW INHERITANCE. It's just theft across generations. If not, get used to George W. Bush and Jenna Bush. They are your legal betters. It's in our legal code. You've codified class you fucking idiots!
3.) OUTLAW CLASS. Marx was right and every other perspective is wrong. Class is the only real human problem.
3.) OUTLAW MURDER (AKA war), torture, usury fees (credit spreads) and all other activities that pit one human against another in hopeless, murderous exploitation.

Winning the battle.
Losing the war!
Animals with pants: 3000 years and no one really gets that yet?

In other words, individually we're pathetic, but our systems, our communities and our ideals -- these represent our only hope. Our ideas are better than us so let's take them to their natural conclusions. Twenty-five years of hating our government, what has it gotten us? These unregulated corporations are NOT an improvement. Privatizing the Sun, the Wind and the Rain is not an improvement. SHARING is our only hope!

Oceans of vodka. Seas of whiskey. Still I wake up in the morning and it hurts just as bad. My household net worth is ~$1M. My house was built in 1890 from ~1M pounds of huge granite slabs -- God how I love to just stare at it. But mostly I just can't stand myself. And I really can't stand you! So I wonder how do you do it? Did I miss a class? Do I need better medication?

Jesus Christ.
Kurt Cobain.
Martyrdom or suicide?
Isn't there something in-between?

Any suggestions?

So just keep whistling dixie Mr. and Mrs. Democrat -- it's the "best of all possible worlds" (trouble is Voltaire was striving for irony when he said that). Count your 401Ks while 1/7 of the human population is starving. And do be sure to FEEL GOOD about yourself and your children's pathetic, diminishing future. Melt the icecaps. Burn the forrests. Kill. Kill. Kill.

Oh and don't forget to vote progressive!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

More pro-Marx, anti-Shrub Riffs...

IMO worker's economics have become so bad in the U.S. that the average American, who works more days per year, has a lower overall standard of living, pays for his own healthcare, and dies several years sooner than the average western European, has essentially eroticized (or allowed Rush Limbaugh to do it for him) his/her exploitation. So complete is the delusion here that we're essentially prostitutes having fallen in love with those that climb on us over and over, grunting and thrusting like animals.


You're Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson has $700M in his back pocket from his days at Goldman Sachs (You know, GS, the people that carried Enron's paper until the rest of its investors finally uncovered the scam and bailed, destroying $2B in worker's retirement in the wake of the collapse. So I'm quite sure that good old mid-western Hank has your best interests at heart). Your Defense Secretary is worth hundreds of millions and gets richer with every dose of Tamiflu sold. Your Vice President awarded no-bid contracts to the company he was once CEO of -- Halliburton -- to "rebuild" Iraq. And, finally, you're President, the "liberator" of Iraq, is the extra-chromosome son of yet another wealthy American family dragging down the human genome by eliminating taxation of inheritance.

I tell you, surely the average American is so sick and so deluded that we should teach Das Kapital in the schools!

So call it populism. Call it social democracy. I don't care what you call call it, but without the contribution of people like Karl Marx, you'd have been thrust into work as a child and likely be dead by now. Sure over the years the capitalists have done just enough -- insuring we're fatter, less educated, more "entertained" (are you ready for some FOOTBALL!) and most importantly, unaware of our commoditization -- to keep the lid on for another season.

Just keep paying no attention to the man behind the curtain, America, (While you're at it, take out another home equity loan so you can show us all just how rich you really are). Remember, the man behind the curtain is working for you.