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Top Ten Things About Being Human
- Paid sick leave.
- There's always more cheese.
- Knowing there's got to be something marvelous about obesity.
- Pets, children and other really dumb things you can easily master.
- Most of the internet is devoted to de-stigmatizing elimination.
- Not feeling, but rather controlling, the Bern.
- Poetry is one notch above boredom.
- Women obviously hate you. But at least you know why.
- The battle is over. Kim Jong Un has all the titles.
- Twitter can lose money longer than you can stay popular.