Ken Lay Finally Vindicated -- By Jesus

In a surprising one-man rapture, Ken Lay was recently taken up to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

But he has recently broadcast a closed-circuit interview directly to the otherwise empty skulls of Jerry Fallwell, Pat Robertson and Ralph Reed, which they kindly consented to share with those of us comprising The Real World.

During his interview Lay reiterated his innocence of all complicity stemming from the fraud and travesty that was "the crooked E" and that his massive heart attack was in no way caused by stress regarding his 20+ year conviction on numerous felony counts or his prospects for a triumphant and victorious outcome concerning his legal appeals.

Said Lay, "... Adolf, Joe [Stalin], Ted [Bundy] and myself are having a wonderful time awaiting the arrival of Tom Delay as well as chicken-hawks George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld et. al. so we can party, party, party -- finally without having to pay to have the public record expunged later. You know, we have a saying up here: There ain't no JUSTICE in Heaven, boy -- just GRACE. And she's got a tight one."